STARTLED.

I live near a major city, where the lights are always shining and the traffic never ceases.  I live where you can drive 70 on the freeway and still get dirty looks from the cars passing you on either side.  And yet, in my own little world, within the walls of my sickness, life feels quite slow.  This makes for a difficult transition between my 'sick' world and the 'real' world.  Sometimes, when you are limping, it is easy to forget that other people can run. When cars are whizzing past you, it is hard to slow down.

It is difficult to describe this transitional feeling; it is quite distinct and nothing I have said quite does it justice. Have you even had those dreams where you are trying to walk, but your feet won't move? Everyone is saying to you 'Hurry up, you are going to be late!' but you feel as though you are running in jello?
Ok, maybe I'm the only one who has had that dream...Here's another analogy that may or may not be useful...

I want you to imagine your body is frozen, stiff as a board, with your hands at your side. Despite your attempts to move, you are stuck. Your toes are six inches away from a long splintered railroad ties. There is nothing around you but empty space. On the top of your head, sunlight piercing your scalp. Between you and the horizon, there is only dirt, tracks, broken bottles and spiky Joshua trees. The air is still; your heart is beating fast. Sweat rolls down your cheek and stings in the cracks on your lips, but you can't reach it to wipe it away. Without warning, a train zooms by and and nearly knicks your toes. You begin to lean in but the air pushes you back like invisible hands, knocking you to the ground. When you open your eyes, passengers are boarding with their tickets in hand. You had not noticed them before? Had you ever been alone or was that a mirage? And how on earth are you going to make it to the platform before the train leaves?
Okay, it's possible that description only makes sense in my head, but in short- this is what I am saying: it sucks to be sick in a 'well' world, where you stand alone in a crowd.