"God is more interested in your character than your comfort..."

"...I used to think that life was hills and valleys…I don't believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life…You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems. If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, "which is my problem, my issues, my pain." But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.” ~R. Warren

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CRASH.






crash   [krash] –verb 
1.to break or fall to pieces with noise.
2.to experience unpleasant sensations, as sudden exhaustion or depression

The worst thing about crashing is that you don't expect it.  The worst thing about crashing when you have Lyme Disease is that you do.  Discernment is the key when you are living with a chronic illness...To do or not to do? that is the question...the never- ending question.

I think of the quote by Mark Twain where he says "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did so. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

Good advice Mr. Twain.  But I wonder if Mark Twain ever had Lyme Disease?  Probably not.  What would his motto had been if did?  Instead of "Explore. Dream. Discover" maybe he would have said: Rest. Sleep. Dream?"  Okay, that is depressing.

There is a time to push through when you are sick and there is also a time to sleep and I just can figure what time is what...  It is one of my greatest challenges.  Lately, I've been pushing through HARD CORE.  Amazingly, my body has been somewhat cooperating with me.  But the last few days I've been CRASHED hardcore.  And when I say crashed, I mean I am shut down: mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically.  It's like I pressed 'hibernate' mode on myself.  It's the only way to reset after an incredibly busy couple of weeks....

And yet, life demands so much more of me than I have to give it...What to do?

3 comments:

Jenna Locke said...

I was reading out of 2 Cor yesterday and was brought to 12:9. I read further: For when I am weak, then I am strong.
It makes me think of the tremendous ways God is using you now, and how He will use you when the two of you overcome this relapse. In my prayers, friend.

"God, who foresaw your tribulation, has specially armed you to go through it, not without pain but without stain"
CS Lewis

Bree said...

Thanks, friend! Oh and I love C.S. Lewis...So amazing..

Anonymous said...

I can so relate... as you know... when you feel good, it is like you were never sick, but when you feel bad- you know you are sick... you hope for a better tomorrow and yet dread for it to actually be worse... then when it is worse you can't imagine it getting any worse until it does.

It is ironic how the mind plays with the body when you are sick to almost think you are crazy, but really it what happens when you have periods of being well or just sick. It is almost like a trick.

Anyway... enough of my rambling even though I know you understand every word. Keep keeping on my sister...