When we first started babysitting Tegan, I was so excited, but after a few weeks, it struck me how little she was able to do and it kind of frustrated me. She couldn’t walk or eat food or even sit up and I sometimes wondered what it was like to be in her shoes- so incredibly helpless.
So many times, I have seen Tegan lie on her stomach and kick her legs and try with all her might to crawl. She can’t even imagine trying to walk yet; all she wants is to crawl and even that, she is not ready for. And so she kicks and cries and becomes very frustrated, until I pick her up in my arms and tell her “It’s okay, Tegan. I promise you will crawl soon. Just keep trying.”
It strikes me in moments like that how incredibly precious she is to me. I couldn’t love anyone more. And then it hit me- God’s love is just this. He sees us for the place where we are at, not the place where we want to be. He knows where we will be someday and yet he does not love us BECAUSE we will be there someday. He loves us now- in all our brokenness and frustration. He would love us even if we never learned to crawl.
Sometimes, I don’t understand how God could love me like that, when I am so weak and sick and can’t do much to serve him. Like Tegan, I get so frustrated by my own inability. It’s human nature to love because of action, because of what people can do for you.
It strikes me how God’s love is so incredibly different. It doesn’t even resemble that human kind of love. It is so intense. It is so passionate. It is so separate from action. His love is that of a parent, of one who watches over us when we sleep and loves to watch us breathe. He wants us to crawl, but he knows that sometimes we are just not ready- that is, until we are.
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